Shard me, baby!
If there’s a beef, it’s your fault. If you break it, you pay for it, plus sales tax and installation. If you attempt to remove any person or persons from these premises involuntarily, by force or coercion as defined by the house, you will be surrendered to the police in a damaged condition. The decisions of your bartender are final, and the management doesn’t want to know you. The first one’s on the house; have a good time.
— Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon, Spider Robinson
One of my favorite books.